Depression

So I don't know how to put this. I know I have everything, Star Ship, Friends, Good Crew, Good Parents. yet I feel so alone that it hurts every time I walk into my apartment on the space station. it hurts so bad that you can't even explain it to your best friends. when you do its like your talking a different language. There was once this comedian who committed suicde because he felt so alone that he just throught it was best to just end it. I feel his pain, i really do and I don't care if anyone judges me the only way everyone will feel how i feel is if I end it to make them morn. Then they can truly understand how I feel. I lost the love of my life over a year ago and ever since then I'm just not me. I know she was a herione addict. I don't care about that I care about her and who she was. not what she be came of other ass holes. I miss my baby so much, I miss the dinner the skys we starred at. I wish she would come back. I just want to hold her one more time and tell her how much I care for her. I just want that warm feeling we gave each other. Why do I deserve to feel like this? Why couldn't I save her from those Ass holes Rozlyn and Richard? I fought so hard to save her and in the end I still couldn't

I miss her so much,  I miss her so bad. I hurts so bad, I want my fiancé back. I why can't i just be happy, I just want things to be my way just for once. all I ask is for my baby, I just want to hold the best thing that ever happened to me. I miss her so much. i'm tired of being the good guy, tried of being good. Kat if you can read this, hear me in my sleep or my daily life. I love you, I miss you, where ever you are now I hope your okay and will wait for me. I may see you sooner than you think. I love you so much. I don't care about the heroine, I don't care about the fight we had, I don't care what happened. I just want to be by your side again one more time please wait for me. I love you so much. No one under stands how I feel. No one know my pain, we should of been married now with possible a kid. could of followed mittens and jeffery...... I miss you so much. I miss you with all my heart.

I hope we meet again babe, I miss you so much.

Ps. Nonot can make really awesome pita bread now. He actually made extra and forgot that you wouldn't be with us the other night.