O.o

Sleeping a in a bed first time in a few month, wow good feeling. I feel strange tho

Star Date 12-15-12

Been a POW for the last month finally rescued or basically rescued my self. Was marooned on a moon used an RX six to escape orbit ill get back to this. I want a cheese burger

Bowling

SAMs a bleeding and still hitting 278!!

Blah

Oh how I hate the season that apon us..... Everyone's all happy, cuddley, and here I sit after my work out...... It's going to be a cold winter in space this year. I just want it to end

Amazing

Being the bigger person and doing what's right to help others will always be the right thing to do. Even if you lose everything. I don't have a soul, I don't have a heart. But I will still continue to save the people around who I care about or so help me god.

I will not fail my friends, brothers and sisters to the end.

The truth

Knowing that you've helped someone's relationship is a great feeling. When you think that person is being treated unfairly, it's good to take a double take and walk with them instead of away from them. I've lost so many friends to war and suffering I'm not going to lose any more.

Solar storm

Yay last day of Saturn mission, get to head home. Only issue there's a wild solar storm coming through, shits gonna be real.

Besides that we got bowling tonight and relaxing can't wait!!

Silence

So don't know what's worse, the fact I haven't heard any thing or the fact I feel better I've been able to sleep again.

Thank you Chelsea for the other evening very good conversation.

I guess conversations help in every which way

Detroit fanfair

Here I sit at another comic show yay and I'm hung over :)

At least the girls are cute!

After math

Well I feel bad that I ruined someone's day, but maybe I made it better. I don't know I could be wrong I could be right I guess only time can tell

Say what you need to say

Title says it all, no matter what, speak your mind and tell her the truth. She'll listen, and you'll save her from harm and be able to help her gain her strength back.

Main goals to help her re bond with her family

Become an Officer

Smile again like she used to

And help her shoot straighter

Going in for the kill

The title says it all. I've consulted with everyone and I'm going to tell here everything! Everyone said the same thing why is she wasting her time. Either she'll listen and be saved or she will ignore me and I'll lose a god friend and she'll be ruined for the rest of her life :(. Non the less I will gather all my strength to talk to her tomorrow night on the docking deck of the space station. I have to tell her, it's killing me inside and I know he's just going to Hirt her more and keep smiling about it like he's trying to be the best boyfriend ever. I don't care if she dates me or not as long as she happy and safe from danger is my main course of action brb.

Can't sleep

Ugh I'm ripping my self apart I can't sleep...... Feels like my souls being shredded. I have to do this, I don't know how but I have too. God please let this go right. That's all I ask, I just need this to work! Please please please please.... I'm begging for strength to save her please. Haven't I suffered enough?

Setting up the perfect shot

Ok so I'm going to do it, I'm going to throw everything on the line, my star ship included. My crews behind me, my close friends. It's not I don't have a choice, it i have to do it to save someone's life. I'm not going to fail I'm going to say everything from my heart. It will fire like the ION cannon on the Astroliner.

I'm going to free myself of this curse I've cursed myself with. Gods give me strength. For what I'm about to do with effect everything in my life and may shift things to an in shiftable position

I don't fear the conversation I will have I fear me after the conversation. I fear that I may not survive the blast. I'll survive the initial explosion. But the fall out my kill me. The true test will begin soon, and when the time is right I will open fire and hope I can do it. Please let this work and please let this free of my own curse, or if I fail please end me quicker rather than a slow death.


God Speed

Bowling

Having a good night with my bowling league, first time ever on a league. Helps clear the mind of all the shit going on in my life.

Sooner or later I'm going to take that shot, I can't hold this in any longer its ripping me apart cell by cell, bone by bone.

Sunday

Ever have a Beatles song playing in your head? Well yesterday is playing in mine feel sad again, some times I wonder what the future hold for me and my crew

Mixed signal

Never can tell if she's asking for help?

Oh Casey

Casey finally got her Mickey Bar

Crap

The title says it all, apparently I kissed someone I shouldn't of now I have strep throat like a mofo, and it's going around the station :(. Nvr drink and kiss a random girl

ION Cannon

Deciding to use the ion cannon is an easier decision to make than the one I'm going to make in a few weeks. I'm tired of my friends being hurt, ruined, destroyed, plane fucked over.

I'm going to at least save one. Even if it kills me I will take all bullets coming her way. It may ruin our friend ship it may not. I'll do what ever I can to make it right I swear.

Freezing!!!

Heaterrrrrs are out in the Astroliner again and it's really cold in space!!!

Space

Just let it be. Best advice ever!

Worse than death

I sit here looking at the social network. How do you save someone who's in love and as their in love their being ruined? It's like trying to cure cancer, 90% failure.

If I had a time machine I'd save my friend marks sister. I'd go to the future and get the cure for her cancer and cure her just to see him happy. Losing a sibling especially a sister, I can't imagine what he went through. It would be the first thing I'd do with my time machine.

Sector 5

At the bar with friends in sector 5, play n pool! Wish I wasn't alone in this :( at least I'm with friends I can trust, while my crew is away.

Donut

Mmmmmm space donuts!!!! Mmmmm sprinkles

The hanger bay

So I was drinking yea no big suprise!!!!! I put my bottle next toy space ship work they look alike!!!!

Time to keep drinking wooooooo

.

I feel like a bomb that's ready to go off, there's a Demon inside of me

Space dock

Everything went smooth tonight, back on the station everyone else went home I just stopped at the store got me a bottle of my buddy cake. Now I'm gonna attempt to use this time machine, hopefully it goes backwards but usually only forward :(

.........0.o...........

Bored out of my mind....... Oh let's see what's up on social network.....

Casey posted on lynsyes wall,"hahaha I pee'd on your wall" with a photo of a dog peeing on a barn

Mittens posted a photo of flowers from Jeffery "love you babes!" the flowers sit on her work bench surrounded by grease and wrenches.

Mark posted: I'm hungry I want to place an online order for white castle when we jump back to earth!!!

Missy posts: lynsyen I love you baby!!! With a posted photo of edible arrangements. Nicely cover chocolate Strawberries and pineapples.

As for me...... To depressed to post anything besides I want to kill my self. All this lovie dubbie shit.... When's it going to be my turn.......

I don't know how many times I write this in my journal :(. Something's gotta give it's just been a bad year all around. My ex cheated on me, tried to fall in love with a girl in the military and she ended up dating a moron from the alphas, won't talk about mittens, that was my own fault :\. And yea here I sit... In my captains chair com pad in hand bottle of water to my left and saturn in front of me........ Yea I'll shut up now and cry in my chair....

I can here Casey or Mittens Cry Baby!!!!!!!!

Orbiting Saturn

Orbiting Saturn.... Yawn...... No signs of the Lab Rat Mafia so far. Colleens down on Titan with her team. All goes well, Casey and Mark are playing are with NONOT and I got first watch up on the bridge. It's a little lonely, wish I had someone to share this view with. Jupiter looks better in my opinion.

Gods I feel so empty and alone up here..... I look into my mineral water bottle wonder what it would be like to have someone to care about.

Dark matter

How do you control something you don't know how to control? We've been flying missions for the past several months. The current mission "hallows" had been a challenge, not matter how much I fight to hid my feelings it tears me apart, the crew has begun to notice a change in me and the way I act. I want to be a better person all around but I feel so damanged. The last accident I had wasnt her fault it was mine. How come I can pull the trigger to kill and enemy but I can't when I feel something's write?

Funny just the other day a family came up to me in the food court they sat with me as I ate and the said we where on the Golden Wing freight liner. You saved our lives, can we do any thing for any thing at all? I looked at them and said just be happy for your selves and live every moment with each other. Then I told them don't be like me. I do everything I can to save life but i can't save myself from myself. I always hurt my self by not making the right decisions and this time it hurts more than any thing and I don't know what to do. We fly again at 19:00 hrs and I'll be suited I'll be ready but my heart will never be right. Honestly I told Mark I hope I get shot down today, and I say it every day but I seem to still survive it everyday. If the Astroliner was a person I think it would feel the same way. We both feel empty and beaten inside. It's been running for of 35 years I've been running for 29 years some times I wonder if I need to take a break. But if I did I would just spend it alone so what's the point no one like to do what I do. And with my luck I'd get called to action.

I just feel lost.....

Amazing Grace

I once was lost, but now I'm found :)

Save me

So I'm sitting here just blah sitting right next to my rocket..... Blah I need a drink

Lost

Being a space captain and being in battle is one thing. I know the mission I know what's the right call is.

But when I'm home I don't know what im suppose to do? I feel lost, no one to talk to. Everything is not right, I feel as if I've lost my humanity somewhere along the way. The said lifes a journey I feel I've been on this journey solo. Maybe it's time for the Astroliner to be decommissioned. And the team be set free, maybe I need to be debriefed for good.

This may be the end of Jupiter 7

Depression

Ain't it a bitch, being a space captain is great, I have friends, I have a home. But i feel so empty inside

Saturn 5

Images top secret

Saturn 5

Rescue of Saturn 5 brings bad news of lab rat mafia's new weapons

ISE station

Home at last, what's left of it. All alone as usual. And I have to get up in the morning for work.

I wish I had someone to cuddly with besides my pillow :( it's cold this time of year on the space station

Drama!!!!!!!

Ever been so mad over an ex girl friend it's hard to fly your space ship, just crazy!!!!!!

Narf

Random things on my hatch

Shields up what!?!?!!!!!

Casey just repair the last shielding that was damaged we should be ready to go. Man I've got a head ache

St Clare last day

Last day St Germaines, ammo getting low, Casey exhosted, marks out of cigarets and I'm ugh tired, missions almost over

Woooo been busy

Out at Saturn 5 station having some drinks

Cigars

Found my fav cigars on the moon at lunar so happy, usually only find em on mars maybe the space station but this is awesome

Project VFW

Well hard day supporting our veterans now I'm on earth getting my drink on and grub on

The truth

When your life is a fantasy

How do you deal with reality

Screwed over by the big green weenie again

So I was planing in having another fun weekend.... Yea cut short because some ass hole hates what government is charging him for taxes. So he blows up half of Carris Space Station... Wtf I was supose to goto the beach, maybe have a drink work on my tan..... Whateves this is my life and it's ending one second at a time.... :(

What a weekend

Short week ahead hopefully followed with another great weekend, just need to survive it

Whoa

Went to a party last night on lvl 53 of the station, damn good time!!!!

Yet again

I've woke in a corner with multiple bottles of liquor. What's going on??

Barf

Game stinks so bad I turned to baseball and started working out

Saturday night

Yay no missions tonight, no emergencies, just me and football. Wish i had someone to watch it with mark and Casey went to mars, mittens is out with Jeffery. And here I sit in the astroliner watching tv on the main monitor,

Aftermath

Omg, what happen last night! I woke up in the corner of my appartment. There's like 4 bottles of cake lying around holy molie! I need to stop drinking, I should go check my captains log I wonder what I wrote?

In this corner I still sit

Ugh, I feel like poop. Been drinkin all night by myself and still wondering what my purpose is.... Why can't I be happy? Yea I'm a captain for a star ship and I have a good job, my own place. Why am I so miserable? I've been cheated on, lied to and I'm still stupid enough to let myself get hurt. Space is a very lonely place and I don't know where I'm gonna go from here. I feel so empty like the fuel tank in the Astroliner

In a dark place

Just got back from a mission. We all high five each other. Everyone made it home safely. But I'm all alone again, I had a few close calls out there today but still i have no one to talk to. I'm sitting on the floor in the corner of my apartment with a bottle of UV cake hoping to get vented into space. I'm tired of the endless rounds, with no one there for me what's the point. Yea my pilot skills are great but why should I keep going. If I crash and burn I'll just be another name on a wall, and no one will know my pain.
Maybe I'll go back and sit in the Astroliner for awhile, I'm more at peace within my star ship.

It's so dark here

Space news

Space station Calypso of Neptune has lost all communications, reasons unknown team may need to be assembled

Depressed captain

The title says it all, im lost again due to my heart. I look at all my friends and everyone's happy and I'm all alone. Sure they come up to me your not alone where with ya. It's just not the same, I just feel like why am I here, can't I be happy. It's like a dark cloud that will never go away. I wish someone would just save me. I save people all the time. Why can't it be my turn :(

P B J

I'm hungry,

Tired

Wow I'm officially tired... Blah, to lazy to walk down to the hanger bay and look at my ship. Let alone the job board...... Maybe I'll go smoothie bar hopping, to meet single ladies... :) best idea yet!!!

Ouch ouch ouch

Oh god I'm sore, HR and half in the gym. Darn bike is broken, stuck with punching bag and weight :(. And no work on the job board... I need monies to up date my gym.... Lemonade stand yay :D with liquid :$ :o

Working hard, hardly working

Ahhh another nice day

BFE

Well no little creepy girls yet, Casey afraid to leave the room by herself.

Yarp

Ugh long day tomorrow, copying, then rocket, them money! Hey mittens thanks for the pep talk and drinks tonight! Venting is a great thing and your a great friend!

Yay training on earth

Today I'm working at my other job!!!! Wooo, so I have training before work I'm going to improve my selling skills of signs and graphics I'm exciting because it's with my favorite trainer. Paulie is the bomb and an awesome trainer.

At least for once I'm not training for the space military.

Middle of duh week!

Ugh, can't wait to get back to my ship, I think i have a crush on a girl again, so not cool. I need to stay away from females that don't want to go on adventures. I'd know, well me and mittens are going on a detox r&r weekend, she's leaving Jeffery at home and where gonna chillz and sneak a few drinks and talk aboot the old days. It's funny, me, mark and mittens where all in basic training together, crazy. All well good times! :)

Left or right

Being a captain of a space ship is like being a like being a rock star. Everyone wants to ride, everyone wants a tour, everyone wants to join the crew.

Wish I had time for my self, maybe Mitten was right the only way I'll be free if it blows up or officially falls apart like the blues mobile!

Board walk

Long day, long weekend. I found an awesome board walk, clear sky drink in hand. Couldnt ask for more. Proud to say I saw a shooting star and I didn't make a wish for me I wished it for the people I work with. Hope them well :) uh ho here comes Casey Mark gotta run!!

Dewitt Michigan

Thanks to the Dewitt Christian church, for feeding the animals 'us' :) one day left back to the fight!

Oops landing hehehe

Landed on the wrong plate form, landed right in the middle of a cougar party :)

Oh poo

So where all hung over, tired, except NONOT he's a robot! And on the radar we have yet more storms.... Casey Mark baton down the hatches!!!

Ugh 0706

Omg nvr again everyone reeks of boos will report in shortly eta to Dewitt, 3 hrs

Wheels up at 0600

Oh god I'm hung over ass hell and we launch at 0600, Casey wheres them pillz?????? Blahhhhhhhhhh ugh drunk space captain and large space ship woooo!!!!! And I'm single bitch, yea I'm talking to you across the bar!!! Wanna see my Ion cannon!!!!!

Wheels up at 0600

Oh god I'm hung over ass hell and we launch at 0600, Casey wheres them pillz?????? Blahhhhhhhhhh ugh drunk space captain and large space ship woooo!!!!! And I'm single bitch, yea I'm talking to you across the bar!!! Wanna see my Ion cannon!!!!!

Cant sleep

Yet again I can't sleep, I've walked down to the hanger, quite and lonely as usual.

Dying space ship

I just want it to stop, the endless rotations, the crappy food, I just want to be me. No ones ever there when u truly need em, some times I think we really are alone in all this it's hopeless

The ships falling apart the team is beginning to separate,

Am I lost.

Rack time

Phew long day just did my first watch of the area, all clear time for bed got my rack pulled out in the astroliner, gonna watch nick and Nora and fall asleep

End of the night getting ready to set up camp

Long day we've landed safely and the fire works are about to start, yay I feel like the luckiest person just wish i had someone to share this with.

Welcome to marine city

Well it's raining and still raining and bow getting a meal at Morrelis cafe

Marine city mission

Can't sleep only a few hours to go before we launch I've counted everything ten times maybe I'll do it one more time.

Two days to go

Great news after being Coloma this weekend we will be in marine city and presenting the new film "expedited delivery"!!!!

Coloma accomplished

Mission accomplished, where heading home, eta with warp drive 3 hrs. Coloma has been saved, waters been restored and the children's mysterious disease is gone.

Think I'm gonna enjoy the view of andromeda

15 hrs into the mission

Omg long day and only had 3 hrs of sleep last night, finally got a break, shower, chow. Wish I had someone to lay back and watch the stars with. I guess I forgot how lonely it gets out here. Just me and the ship everyone else took off. I've walked the perimeter not much out here.

I wish I had someone to miss, I feel like an empty shell. And brain dead

BFE

Um well where here........ Coloma MI............. At least there's a subway......

Moon bound

Eta moon 3 hrs depending on traffic