Dark matter

How do you control something you don't know how to control? We've been flying missions for the past several months. The current mission "hallows" had been a challenge, not matter how much I fight to hid my feelings it tears me apart, the crew has begun to notice a change in me and the way I act. I want to be a better person all around but I feel so damanged. The last accident I had wasnt her fault it was mine. How come I can pull the trigger to kill and enemy but I can't when I feel something's write?

Funny just the other day a family came up to me in the food court they sat with me as I ate and the said we where on the Golden Wing freight liner. You saved our lives, can we do any thing for any thing at all? I looked at them and said just be happy for your selves and live every moment with each other. Then I told them don't be like me. I do everything I can to save life but i can't save myself from myself. I always hurt my self by not making the right decisions and this time it hurts more than any thing and I don't know what to do. We fly again at 19:00 hrs and I'll be suited I'll be ready but my heart will never be right. Honestly I told Mark I hope I get shot down today, and I say it every day but I seem to still survive it everyday. If the Astroliner was a person I think it would feel the same way. We both feel empty and beaten inside. It's been running for of 35 years I've been running for 29 years some times I wonder if I need to take a break. But if I did I would just spend it alone so what's the point no one like to do what I do. And with my luck I'd get called to action.

I just feel lost.....

Space news

Space station Calypso of Neptune has lost all communications, reasons unknown team may need to be assembled

Left or right

Being a captain of a space ship is like being a like being a rock star. Everyone wants to ride, everyone wants a tour, everyone wants to join the crew.

Wish I had time for my self, maybe Mitten was right the only way I'll be free if it blows up or officially falls apart like the blues mobile!

Welcome to marine city

Well it's raining and still raining and bow getting a meal at Morrelis cafe

Marine city mission

Can't sleep only a few hours to go before we launch I've counted everything ten times maybe I'll do it one more time.

15 hrs into the mission

Omg long day and only had 3 hrs of sleep last night, finally got a break, shower, chow. Wish I had someone to lay back and watch the stars with. I guess I forgot how lonely it gets out here. Just me and the ship everyone else took off. I've walked the perimeter not much out here.

I wish I had someone to miss, I feel like an empty shell. And brain dead

Detroit fan fair

So apparently I'll be at Detroit Fan Fair, not sure how many fans I have but I'll be there with my comic and new novel. Yes I said novel, kids will have to read instead of looking at pictures.

The novel is going to be about my crazy life as a space pilot from
Space fighter to Astroliner, luv, dranking, space and a doctor.
And Aliens n' stuff. The book should be about 150 pages of long reading

Post emergency call!!!

Yawn...... Well I must say that was fun easy rescue operation while eating deep dish is a great thing. Everyone only sustained minor injurys.

Funny I met a man and he said to me" what's troubling you?"

I'm like well this mission and all the laser beams every where would be a start!

Then hes like what's her name

And I swear I almost stopped the ship mid battle, I'm like Who is this guy???

He's like don't waste your time as Mittens screams hard right!!!!!!

Yea so it was an interesting night, oh yea and mittens thanks for the talk and pizza :)

Last supper

Well last supper for awhile, Si Fu wants me to come to his wedding. So I got some weight to loose!

I hate those long flights, he's only a galaxy away.

Gonna add juicing to my diet!

Wedding prt 6

Ahh the nights over I'm kicking back looking up at the stars. Wish I had someone to share this with :(

Well tomorrow's another day, got alot to do, going to deliver some bad news, going go get back on my diet, going to watch breaking bad and yea so tomorrow will be interesting.

Being a space captain is like being a orange, so sweet and tasty till we mold

Wedding party prt 4

Yay Captain Shepard of the Normandy is my DD!!!!!! Wooo and he brought Garuss too!!!!

End of a great night!

Well I must say I had fun! Haven't had a good time like that and our driver Joe was amazing!!!! Totally cool guy, I will call apon them again. Well I had no worries got to dance finally!!!

Sad to say it's over and now back to my boring life. Sitting here waiting for work to show up on a stupid job board.

The coolest thing I did see tonight was a shooting star from the bus window. I wished to just be happy, I don't want love, I just want to be happy and be safe. The Astroliner is all I got left, everything else has been ripped or taken away from me.

I just wanna be me :)