Day 25

Feeling ok, A lot of vegetables and drink about a liter of juice. Muscle mass is increase in my arms and legs and partial body stomach is definitely going down in size as well. Just can't wait to get back to the ship I guess Nonot still being Nonot putting my profile back up on the dating site again didn't help that I found some pictures of me and kat again. Sometimes I wish the past would stay in the pass I'm tired of it. Yeah I still wonder if she's alive but it doesn't matter anymore I mean she died I know she died. No one survived that explosion, nothing blew that space station was shredded no one survived that radius. 

It's funny to be march in a couple of days can't believe how many months it's been since everything that happened. All I know is I truly loved her but hopefully once I find the strongest version of myself I'll find the right person I'm looking for I hope or the Astroliner will just break apart and you. The Astroliner saved me a lot. more times than I can imagine. sometimes I wonder if it's got a mind of its own it save my life more times than I can count I am grateful for. 

Above all I really miss the crew Mittens,Mark, Casey I know Lindsey Missy are long gone another in a better place, I really miss the crew now just me and the robot and hopefully if anybody else I can hire this year.

I'm thinking about returning the Mars just to finding my own job or working for somebody else instead of being in charge of the spaceship. and back to it again I'm just really tired of being alone this apartment is just the walls are closing in, I'm losing weight but the walls are just closing in