Being captain

Another long and stressful day today. Sometimes I wonder why put up with this shit. So tired of being stressed over stress over stress. And I wish the flashbacks of stop too. And not to mention that my heart and mind are going to different ways my heart wants the girl but my mind wants something else. I'm tired of trying to be two people I just want to be one person and that's a captain. 

Sad to say I still think of her, even though she's gone. I could really use her touch and Grace. Her gentle kindness and her warm heart. And that perfume that can destroy the world. I miss her smile so much. Tired of being in pain all the time. I wish someone would help me stop suffering. Lately I have been asking myself what am I truly living for. Or what was I living for.

I miss my baby, with all my heart 

Being captain

Just got back to my apartment from exersizing. I couldn't help stand on the bridge that connects the station midsection. It was just me and nobody else. The earth looked amazing tonight. Yep just me and my MP3 player, just taking it all in. 

I know I keep hoping but hope something is changing for me soon. 

Being captain

I know this job requires me to be alone and to even think someone would ever want to put up with the feeling that I may never come back from the job stinks. I love what I do and I love protecting people. I'm no superhero, I don't have super powers but I'll give it my all to help someone...

On a lighter note I asked Petra out, she said yes but I think we where so tired at the time it didn't register. I'm fine with that. Both of us have been busting iur butts. Plus she's having personal issue, so I can relate. Not suppose to date someone in the same rank or branch but I don't care. 

Currently in the Isacc system next week we retune to Arcadia system haven't ran out there in a long time , that was back when I was with my old cre, my best friends... I miss everyone. But none the less new crew, new me, stronger version of me.

I see myself this way now, good or bad I'm unsure.

Captains

Well it's been awhile I lost my compad in the ship.... Actually I think Nonot was hiding it. 

We're still running hard. Missions are coming out of the wood works. So it's been good, still weird with the new crew sometimes but we're mending slowly. 

Oh on another note: Captain Petra from

The Trizona and I have been hanging out. A few weeks back we worked together on a mission. I assisted and we just decided hey lets grab some friend and go bowling. Fun times, nice to get out, Mittens and Colleen would be proud.

Good news from the  front. My uncle might actually be retiring.  It's almost

Time for the Astroliner to be docked for it's annual repair and over haul. Going to score a date with Petra (she's a little hardcore, might get punched in the face) and then find a part time job or something. Last down season was boring.