Cheese and crackers

That about sums it up. Tired, depressed, alone, sad, empty, blah. I feel lost.... 

Lab Rat Mafia

Dunno where this bitch came from all I know is she's trouble and maybe be the leader of the Lab Rats. 

-.-

Just juiced the last of my veggies.... I guess I'll head to Galaxy Groceries... Gonna be weird haven't shopped there alone in along time :/ 

Home safe

Been a wild evening, made decision that where best for the girl I cared about. I hope to see her in a few years from now free of drugs and people that want to hurt her. On the way home I saw two shooting stars and made a wish for her and the second I made one for me.

On a lighter note, me, mittens and Jeffery found out Jacky can make you bowl better lol! Then during bowling Colleen shoots me a message "Party"!!! So after bowling the little lovers went home I headed to sector 5 on the station and had an amazing time! You would be surprised how many friends you really have in the end who will help you through any situation. No matter what the cost is. Just a great night over all.

To break character now this goes out to the Carr family, if you ever need help J7 will always be there and one day I hope we can have a picnic with your daughter drug free. And I want to bring my amazing friends just to show that the world isn't as bad as it seems some times. I will also bring some amazing potato  salad too! Chelsea I love you, I pray for your health and safe return one day. You'll always be in my heart, you have my "chi" from when you bit my arm when we where holding each other the other day. It will protect you as it have me. But once again, Chelsea I Love you I know your family is going to take great care of you. :) 

Captain Chang, signing off for tonight and going to bed. 

I can finally sleep with a clear conscious

:) 

Relieved

It's been a roller coaster... Big time lately and I'm happy to say that I'm relieved. Someone I care about is getting the best help ever. Met her amazing brother, who I think will never stop at any thing like me. My tale in this story is over and the next adventure awaits. She'll always be in my heart. Second star to the right & straight on till morning :)

Hanger bay

Well the ships primed and ready for the Coloma mission.... Still feeling sad, Mittens and Jeffery are taking me out tonight :) still sad. Some times I wonder what it's like to be happy. Hurts to care, worse that i can't see her, wondering if they will ever let me see her again :/ really hate my life sometimes... (*'.')

Still lost

I feel helpless, can't even help the one I care for... I want vengeance, if I find out who hurt her and helped her to get to this point they better be ready hells coming with me... No one deserves to go through what her family is going through, I hope they give me the chance to help. Jupiter 7 is behind me and willing to help.

I hope mittens is right this is where her mind changes for the better. Plus I'm glad I put that hex on her the other day. She kisses my arm and bites down on my and I did the same to her shoulder and that bite transferred my Chi to her Chi and I'm sure it's what protected her from dying. I'm sure everyone's like ha your a dumb ass, nuts, weirdo. But I know I've seen shit that will turn u white! 

I believe in magic and hope and it's never let me down.. I hope to see her soon and avenge her 

Ha

OAnd just like that I'm a train wreck again... Maybe everyone's right I just need to stop caring. My life's a shitty roller coaster, I really just want to de rail. Nothing has ever been good in my life. I've had to busy my ass to get what I have and I'm just not happy end of story. I work for what? I save people for what.... No one gives two shits about, my ship or any good I've ever done. If I turn into a monster I will not apologize. Hell maybe ill turn and join the lab rat mafia and yes that's an act of terror. I'm always on my own, and when someone gets pushed to the limit..... They all float down here

Wired!!

Omg I'm pooped, worked an 18hr day and gotta be back up in 6 hrs to do another 10 hr day. Couldn't talk to my baby hope she's ok. I'm about to face plant my bed. Kat I miss u sweetie, soon as this is all over where leaving the Sol system for something better :)

It's all worth it

things have been like a roller coaster lately. After today things look like they may level out, I'll miss them drops but its all worth it. My boss allowed me time to spend with my baby. Kats making great improvements but she so scared of the future. I told her once she gets thru this, we are gonna go atmosphere jumping. I feel it's my fault she's at where she is, if I would of payed more attention instead of being scared off and forcing my way in she wouldn't have done what she did. But non the less I love her i hope they don't move her. I want her to stay at that hospital so I can hold her and protect her :)

I'm never going to stop holding her. Poor things lost every thing, every one, even her home and I'm going to help her get it back, the best I can :}

Sunday

Finally found my com pad... Stupid couch monster... Finally got to see Kat this week.. Feels weird but she's ok for now. I feel stupid when I go to see her because I just stair at her like a retard. Also the infestation has gotten worse bug ass spiders I rolling around the stations. Anyways longest week ever. Think ill call my baby back. I'm not afraid to show her I love her

Purgatory

Survived Monday been a wreck all weekend and Monday...  It's early Tuesday morn haven't slept since Wednesday maybe an hr here or there... They still won't let me see her. Worst thing is the station has seen an infestation rise of bugs... Wonder if the lab rats r at it again.... Kat i miss u babe y did u do this to your self....

Lost again

Sad sad night.... Won first place in bowling tonight then got a call.... I'm sobbing here sorry, Kat just tried to commit suicide.... Blood everywhere, just omg..... I don't know what to do.... I feel so bad I couldn't even been there for her I'm a galaxy away and my baby was going thru some bad times and just...

Late night entry 7-8-2158

How are u supposed to live without the one when u can't even find them?

Home

I look to right no ones there, I look to the left no ones there... I look up and it's the same.... I'm so tired of being lonely and alone. I give anything to have an argument over spilled milk.

Mission accomplished

Mission accomplished, money was made, everyone made it out. No one died I guess I'd call it a win. Now I get to go Home to an empty house :( no one to celebrate with :( something's gotta give

Clawson

Crazy day, tons of people and a long mission.5 hrs to go and this ones over phew. Just wish I had someone to come home to :(

Blah

Yea that about sums it up..... Mittens really gut punched me mentally. "Stop chasing the past she could give two shits about you, and she'll probably destroy the Astroliner with you in it."
I hate we're I'm at in my life. Great job, good money, I have two places to stay, never bored. Just lonely and it would be nice to have a girl friend to spend the summer with. But every time I meet someone, I get used or they get chased away by the crew.... I'm just going to cry myself to sleep again, and hope for the worst. Not to mention I got a mission in less that 34 hrs... Sigh... I just want to be happy. It's not fare