Day 25

Feeling ok, A lot of vegetables and drink about a liter of juice. Muscle mass is increase in my arms and legs and partial body stomach is definitely going down in size as well. Just can't wait to get back to the ship I guess Nonot still being Nonot putting my profile back up on the dating site again didn't help that I found some pictures of me and kat again. Sometimes I wish the past would stay in the pass I'm tired of it. Yeah I still wonder if she's alive but it doesn't matter anymore I mean she died I know she died. No one survived that explosion, nothing blew that space station was shredded no one survived that radius. 

It's funny to be march in a couple of days can't believe how many months it's been since everything that happened. All I know is I truly loved her but hopefully once I find the strongest version of myself I'll find the right person I'm looking for I hope or the Astroliner will just break apart and you. The Astroliner saved me a lot. more times than I can imagine. sometimes I wonder if it's got a mind of its own it save my life more times than I can count I am grateful for. 

Above all I really miss the crew Mittens,Mark, Casey I know Lindsey Missy are long gone another in a better place, I really miss the crew now just me and the robot and hopefully if anybody else I can hire this year.

I'm thinking about returning the Mars just to finding my own job or working for somebody else instead of being in charge of the spaceship. and back to it again I'm just really tired of being alone this apartment is just the walls are closing in, I'm losing weight but the walls are just closing in

Dehydrator

Amazing machine, been making apples and strawberries working my way to green beans next. Going to used this machine to the fullest. 

Day 18

Nonot came home with a food dehydrator. So where making apple chips. It's been over 18 days no cheese, no processed foods. I feel great :3 

day 15

today is day 15, in my quest to become the strongest version of myself. I now had 45 days to go. for 15 days I have not eaten anything processed, I've juiced 75% everyday. I've only eaten raw or mild cooked vegetables. I'm one step closer to stopping a demon from killing me "My Heart" Also the longest i've ever gone on a fast like this was 14 days. tomorrow aka today is the next chapter i call "the undiscovered country" in my book. can't wait to see whats going to happen next. can't wait for the next challenge. One I'm hopping to earn is to be a Manager for FedEx Office. I'm an assistant now but I want the next challenge. If I can rebuild a Star Ship with my best friends, help stop MS, and help other when they needed guidance. I can't wait for tomorrow.

Day 12

Feeling better this morning last night was weird. Couldn't get any real drawing or writing done ended up watching cowboy bebop the movie last night hoping for inspiration :( great movie but my mind said no.... Always planning the new up grades to the astroliner. And probably going to post a sign for help wanted soon 

Day 7

Been fasting for 7 days I feel great, lots of energy and just over all amazing. I'm going 60 days of this. Everyone keeps asking me why? Because I'm not happy with myself and i hope to attract a girl on the station I like well she actually lives on Mars but she comes to the station every other week.  Nonot is really pushing me and bill has been doing it to because he has been having a hard time fitting into his fighter. So here I sit ready for bed dreaming about the new girl who I have a crush on and one day hope to be happy 

being me.....

I've been captain of the Astroliner for over 8 years now. Its been a wild ride, I miss my crew. all that's really left is me and Nonot, Mittens and Jeffery moved to Mars, Colleen took a position at the Science Academy in the Orion Nebula. Mark and Casey are happy on the Lunar surface...
I  still take the occasional job. Just feels lonely, not to mention I'm dealing with this heart issue. I'll over come it for sure. Bob is doing a fast with me so at least I'm not the only one trying to be health. I guess its really the whole being alone thing. Not having someone to tell how your day was or sharing a moment at dinner with someone. just tired of this feeling had it for along time then Kat came along it was gone then my world fell apart and now I feel like I'm back to square one again. I don't know I guess for now I'm meant to help people and inspire people.... just wish I could inspire myself to become better and find the one I'm looking for...