Shield generator

Sucks when u have a major break thru, and there only two people that can celebrate it.... Nonot and myself... We just unlocked a new tech 

Work out

Just me and nonot, twerking away. He still trying to get me date... Told him to give up already

Christmas

It's been two years since the attack on the station thankful for my good friends for pulling me thru hard times 

Eh

Sitting on my couch and just bad memories keep hitting me like a baseball bat. I hate this feeling.... I just want it to stop 

It's been over two months and I still can't get that night out of my head :( I car cry any more, I can't feel any more... Am I alive ? Or am I stuck in pergatory... I feel so alone and with the holidays around it makes it worse. 

Down hill

Every thing still sucks.. Why can't things get better.

So my fighter is toast, astroliner is docked for reconditioning. I have no ride to get around. Gonna have to buy a new fighter I really don't want a used one... :( so tired of this shit. I just want one thing to go right in my life, just one thing.... 

Blah :(

Someone please push me down the stairs....

:(

I feel like crap, my heart still hurts after every thing last month. The astroliner is docked, I have nothing to do but think. I miss her so much but she hurt me so bad and I still don't blame her it was the drug.... I just want this feeling to go away I'm tired of feeling pain all the time. I just want it to end . 

Blahs

Don't know what's worse being alone or being alone and having no one to vent to .... I'm sitting in the corner of my apartment balling my eyes out because I can't get that one girl out of my head because I loved her so much and that night is still burned into my brain. Everyone's like move on... How can I move on when a part of me died back there..

Ohh the pain

Mittens just kicked me in the ballzz :(..... Ok ok feeling better going to have a juicy now ready to get back on the horse

Lullaby

Tired of being alone, really might end all of this tonight. Full speed crash it into an asteroid 

-.-

Freezing, cold, lonely..... -.- it was weird I just opened my photos on my phone and  her photos opened out of nowhere :( I still love her and it make it worse I love her even thought she doesn't want to be with me shed rather be with someone who treats her like crap and doesn't have a future. Neither of them do.... The sadnes is so bad. At least Mittens and Colleen are talking to me again.

11-13-13

Today was the day Kat was going to be released from rehab..... -.- it's going to be a long day 

alight

I don't know how to say this but I think is a change in the wind coming. I think a new hope is been given. Whatever it is this time I'm not going to miss it. I will strive to do better. I have a plan now and I'm not giving up. The past is in the past it's time to MoveOn. It's game time, I've lost so many people in this past few months it's ridiculous but I'm not giving up I'll make me friends on the way. 

Gut punch

I don't understand, if someone was givin the chance to change there ways. Why would they go back to the past

I'm not tired I'm not wake.

Up bright and early, :/ I don't know what to type... Nonot says to look at the brighter side of things. What ever that is. I just feel alone, I hate coming home, home to nothing. The last few nights I've slept in the Astroliner. Home just doesn't feel right. 

Chicken and cheese

Tired, big day tomorrow. Wish I had someone to miss... :/ I miss her and even everything she put me thru... I hate feeling lonely especially during times like this :(

Out of place

Just attended a funeral in Olympus for a old family friend. I feel so out of place, everyone Is all money and I'm how do I put this poor or let's say not super rich like these people. Everyone looks at me

Different, I ran into an old aquantice. It's amazing how money can change a person. With the astroliner I have money I'm happy. But I still feel lonely as all hell. I hate Mars sometimes, people are snobby and rich. :/ 

and it hits

I'm writing this, I've been hit with a major depression or something I don't even know how to explain how I feel right now.... I took a nap and was feeling ok. but then I woke up and feel like crap. I was going to go bowling but no one wants to do any thing. sucks being the only single person on the space station... just feel heavy like nothing matters, its so lonely in this damn apartment. I keep watching earth through the window and nothing happens.
to much loss and grieving and the only person who I see as  a person that I can talk to is Nonot but he doesn't under stand human emotion, he tries but he's robot. suck everyone can rant to you... who can you rant to when you have nothing or no one. I just feel hopeless in every angle. here i'm suppose to be a beacon of light and hope for others and I feel like shit.
not even music is cheering me up, usually throw on some owl city but it just brings back bad memories. its all bad memories, I don't want these memories I want my own happy memories. just so done being hurt by every relationship. tired of not having someone's had to hold. to depressed to eat, to depressed to go even see my space ship. I feel like as if I have neglected it too. not even spending money is helping me fell happy, I bought a digital copy of Ai Yori Aoshi $50 credits later. great show but just like everything else in my life is a stupid fantasy that will never really happen. I'm really starting to think about leaving the Sol system.... think I might head west some where no one knows who I am and I can just restart and reboot every aspect of my life and just maybe be happy. I'll lose everything here, not like I have much. Space Ship, Job, Family, Nonot, Car, apartment, I'd only take two suit cases. 'm just gonna drift away somewhere so I can't be bothered and I won't bother anyone else. I've learned why i'm helpful to everyone, its because of my grand father. I wish I could ask him how did you keep going not being selfish.. I can't do it anymore. I can't take the pains it comes with, I don't want to try and meet anyone I don't want to do anything I just want to disappear and i'm sure everyone wouldn't notice for a few days either. here's me being selfish, if they gave to shit's they would be there for me as I was for all of them. now that everyone is safe and have what they need I have nothing that I need or want I will move on to hell with everyone else.


captain Chang,

:/

Sitting on my favorite bridge in the station, just letting mind wander. And of course nonot is searching for me. Holidays are right around the corner and its going to be a lonely year :/ everyone's gone, everyone has moved on and here I am :( maybe I'm really cursed after all. I can help people, save lives, do the right thing, and be the most non selfish person and I still get beaten down. Some times I wonder if the gods are laughing at me. I don't want to be like other people who care only for them selves, that's no me I want to be me. Who ever I am...

Rough road ahead

This month has been a rough all around, I've lost lots of people. Today we is the viewing if my grand ps, I still can't cry or feel bad. I've been stuck in purgatory for weeks and I hate it. Nonot say it will pass but sure doesn't feel like it. I expect something to go wrong today, my life's always full of some excitement. Wish things would of just gone my way :/ had the girl, had the ship, most important had my friends. I still have nonot I hope I don't make him mad, his a good friend I know he's a robot but I think he has a heart. He's very human to me.

-:)

Me and Nonot are watching Ultraman. He's like omg that's cool!! Good times, then he slipped "wish Kat was here." I know he doesn't understand fully poor guy atheist he's learning :)

wheres my wallet??

Well the last comic show of the year for me went great. Had an amazing time with everyone met some really cool people and was even inspired by some too. The last few weeks have been rough and this week i'll be challenged with a new issue, with the passing of someone really close. I will give my strength to who needs it this week. I just wish I had someone to give me just alittle of theres because in the end i'm going to fall apart again. my goal is to not fall apart like I did with what happened with Kat. I've lost so many people this month its not even funny, especially when its your close friends. to much death, I guess I know how doctors really feel... I think I don't know i'm rambleing again...... whateves as colleen would say just roll with it captain... this week better watch out because here I come.

Blah

Today just sucks all around.... :/ someone just turn the oxygen off in the station please 

Oh stupid robot

So since the past events, drug addicted girl friend now ex, crew abandoned me due to my destructive personality. Only nonot stayed.... And then he thought he was helping me by signing me up on a dating site.... Got help me -.- I miss my ex just not the drugs.... Wish I still had that time machine fuck 

Friday night

Most people would put... Oh yes great time tonight, woo plastered... Not me... I've lost my best friend Mittens, last conversation ended I'm tire of you crying about your ex, Kat is gone ok she's an addict. Colleen: I can't stand here and help U with your problems, figure it out we are always bailing u out. Mark and Casey, your not u anymore what happened u let her ruin your life and star ship? Lynsye and missy: Ichia, we can't tolerate u, to much drama, I know we've been friends for ever but it's to much....

I'm all alone, it's just me and nonot. He try's to understand emotions but he's a robot. Here we sit in my ship. My crew has left me because of my obsession with the girl I thought who loved me. And she destroyed me in turn I destroy the relationships I had with all my friends. I walk alone here :( I don't know what to do or be anymore. I'm in so much pain I just want it to all stop. I just want to disappear, I have no one to miss me, might as well 

Hurt

In more pain that I've ever been in. And it's not a broke bone, knife injury or being shot. My heart hurts so baby it's unbelievable. Just wonder why this always happens to me, why do i always end up like this just miserable? 

I thought Kat was the one, then her past came out like a super volcano just bam, and she just couldn't give up the drug and the ex. There both like a wolf in sheeps clothing... :( I was so excited he wanted to be together and we where planning so much then this... I really wish I my apartment would lose all oxygen while I'm sleeping tonight.

I'm just not meant to be happy 

Sucks

My life sucks.. Just putting that out there.  

Longest 42 hrs of my life...

Well I'm just gonna spill the beans.. Everything's not alright, no it's not alright :(

Kat got kicked out of rehab, apparently she called me but I didn't answer my phone, on Saturday I got a call from her said he's laying low in the station somewhere, and she wanted me to pick her items up from Neptune Station. Any ways, she's been out for three days, and I end up finding her with her parents and they have her some money. Then I go to take her home and she jumps ship and disappears...

I go on a hunting spree, said to say everyone's pissed off at my because I give two shits about a girl who's addicted to heroine. Mittens won't talk to me, Collens fed up with it. So I track her down to a cheap ass motel on the station near sector 6. I knock on the door and she's high as hell. Bruised and beat. Look someone took a baseball bat to her. She wants me to leave and she's freaking out that her dope mans coming back. After a long argument I left and went home. Only to get a call from her saying did u call the cops? I'm like know I came home and it got blown up from there -.-

Basically she can't get over her ex. And I guess all the times we spent together where meaningless and well the photos she like so much too he didn't like. So I've been replaced by the ex who's the drug dealer.... I texted her told her I was glad to meet her and god speed... And I cried all night because how can someone abuse someone like that. You can tell he was punching her and either dragging her by the legs or worst... It's sad this is what humans want to go through. I don't care about the drug if she wanted it that bad well that's fine I'd rather have her safe that take that.. I really wish Mittens didn't destroy that time machine we found or I would of made some changes for the better. So now here I sit alone :( very alone, and sad in the fact for once I could give a family back there daughter.... She'll always be in my heart, when its her time I hope it's painless for her.

Ugh

Rough day at work today, tomorrow probably just as bad... Oh i miss my baby :( I think on Monday well goto the moon go check out the lunar mall and Armstrong village for fun. Gods I miss her so much.

All messed up

Title says it all, just out of wac, it's like I can't function with out her. I miss her and love her so much I'm just falling apart or something I dunno, Monday needs to get here quicker

:3

Yesterday was great, good relaxing day with my baby. We had a chill day, some yum yum pizza and two good movies :3 can't beat that. Next week I'm gonna take her to the air and space museum can wait I'm like stoked about it. Told her to wear good shoes lol.

Can't wait for her to be free it's just over a month away soo ill be saving up and making some good plans. Well beat the odds together. 

 She brings the best out of me I love her so much. 

-.-'

I miss my baby -.- cant wait to see her, hold her, kiss her, protect her (^.^)

Last day

The last few years have been wide, great friends, The Astroliner, my girlfriend, beating an enemy that's harmed millions. Now it's time to rest I hope. I'm to decommission the Astroliner according to the military. :/ feel like my kids being take. Away from me... Everyone says its for the best... I don't know how can I at least keep it and sit in it... Think I might cry, I don't know I love this ship and I don't want to command any other.. It's sad because its advanced as hell but the hull has taken a major beating. The support structure is ok between Casey and Mittens they have really beefed it up. But eventually she's gonna break :( wouldn't mind a total rebuild but I'm not super rich. well I'm gonna sit here on the ION cannon and chill :/ I miss my baby and I'm sad for my ship. Sigh I hope it gets easier -.-'

-.- turrrred

Tired very tired.... Miss my baby hope she's ok up there. Can't wait till Monday just have to make it thru this week. Big mission this weekend. I want to hold her so bad. I've been having that feeling someone wants to take her away from me.. I'm gonna rip em apart if any one tries... I love her so much

Spent the day at the zoo, figure Mars zoo would be fun. Poor thing she's been held down I want to help her be free so bad. I just feel some thing or someone from my past is going to come and try to kill us both, i won't let it happen I won't lose any one I love ever again. 

Great day

Had a great day with my baby. Left Neptune headed to Mars for a bit then out to the Asteroids for some fun at the zoo and dinner on Titan station. Real oven baked pizza yum ;p

         On the way back to Neptune :/ not looking forward to leaving her, but I get to see her in another week so it's worth it. She makes my days go by faster. Either way I know she's safe. I love her to death, I won't let anything happen to her. I swear of the LRM or government tries to take her away from me again. Gods help em. I will destroy them, and wipe the from existence. I'd do any thing for her, I want her to be happy period. No one should ever have to go thru what she has. That's why she deserves the best. 

Yay yay yay chicken dance!!!

Getting ready for bed get to see my baby tomorrow, heading to Neptune :)

:)

Had a good time tonight hanged out with some good friends. Miss'n my baby, did get an amazing call from her this morning. Wish I could of talked longer but it will make Monday even better I. I know Colleen said to roll with it but I'm making plans this time :)  I haven't been to Olypus Zoo since high school, so I figured perfect place to take her on a day date. The Mars station going for authentic brick oven pizza so hyped :) she's worth keeping promises for. Poor girls been hurt and abused so many times. I can see why she wanted to off her self. I'm not going to let that happen I love her to much. I'd rather crash the Astroliner into her demon to kill it than to watch her suffer

Pooped...

So tired went straight to bed, two more days till I see my baby again :) 

Working hard saving money and vacation hours, big plans with her :) I love her so much. 

Off to sreep

Best day ever :)

Got to spend the day with my baby. Had a good time, next Monday I'm going to blow her mind and show her a great time. Where both gonna get a little Vitamin Z :) then dinner on the Laski Station, real brick oven pizza.

Lunar financial

Sitting here waiting for an advisor for my baby we are sitting here playing candy crush... :) so happy to be with her

Nightmare

Just had a bad nightmare about Tuesday, Kat said she was leaving to another planetary system... She said it was a decision they made for her and it may be the best..... She wouldn't let me go with her :(.... It felt so real I woke up in tears, and my heart was throbbing so bad. What if it was a premonition? I can't do that in reality I can let go of her. I can suffer a broken heart again. If I do this time I will fall... I can't deal with that pain again, that pain that stings do bad if it where a weapon it would be the most powerful.. Kat I miss you honey ill see you in 24 hrs, baby please font let this dream be real.....

Omg

I have to survive the next 24 hrs..... I already fell off my exercise equipment.. What's next? Baby ill see u Tuesday dead or alive ill be there damnit!! 

Nervous Again

Two days until I see my baby..... I'm scared and I have no idea why 

Orbit

Stationed out side romulus station, no sign of any bad guys just easy peas'y surprisingly. Think I'm gonna get BK tonight got a long day tomorrow. 

More excited to see my baby on Tuesday can't wait. I'm counting the days. I talked to her for like a minute here and a minute there and she sounded so depressed.... 

:( I feel bad I wish I could find a way to cheer her up.

City of new Detroit

Thank godz one of my best friends husband is an attorney he got me to the correct court level. This building is huge! 210 story's tall. Yea Jeffrey even hooked me up with a cup of java :) taste better than coffee on the space station. He said if he has time we'll go check out the famous remake hot dog place. Gotta make it thru this first. 

Mr Spock

Nervous for two reasons... A going to court tomorrow to determine my future of me the Astroliner and my Baby... I didn't do any thing bad we r accused of doing bad and the lab rat mafia is trying to get us from a different angle.

Plus I miss my baby I hope she likes her MP3 player I got her. :) I put our favorite songs on it so I hope she enjoys it. Next week I can't wait to spend the day with her. I'm so nervous 

Where to start.... :)

Heck of a weekend! Got a call from my baby today she's doing good. And I got a letter too!! Gods I love her so much. I get to see her next Tuesday I'm soooo excited I'm going to pee myself!!! She sounds better too. Kaskadia System failed we held the line as best we could but the station collapsed we saved everyone just lost the station. 

Well I'm off to sleep and dream about my baby :)

Kaskadia System

Floating around the Kaskadia System eating doughnuts!!! Gotta love it, I miss my baby, sitting in my chair looking at our photos on my dash. Yup can't wait to see her. I miss her, I've dreamed about her four times in the past week.  :) I love her and when she gets home it will be a place of zen for her. It will help her a lot I think

Tired

Tired, on my way up to the Astroliner out to the putter rim. I miss my love so much. I can almost hear her heart beat :)

Wooooo

Just worked 36 hrs straight, damn tired. Plus I got another letter from my baby :) back at it again bout to shower and rock it out again!!

Pooped

Long day haven't heard from my baby hope she's alright, tire been a busy day. I know she's alright I can't stop reading her letter I love her so much :)

Woo hoo!!!

One long hard day today but came home to a letter from my baby :)

I've read it so many times :) she's doing good, trying to hold it together. I know she's having a hard time I'm gonna do what I can from this distance. I love her so much :]

Shepard

Well I was lost now I'm found. Thank god for bill aka Shepard. Set me straight and got me thinking tonight got me on the right track. Kat baby I love you very much ill be your support forever I know your safe and well I need to turn my attention to the problem. I won't be far baby, I'm always near.

......

Life sucks... That's all I got

Can't sleep

Haven't had any contact with Kat in 2 weeks, and only received one letter... I think  losing my mind. I want to hear her voice so bad, I want to hold her hand so bad, I want to kiss her so bad.... I'm in so much pain from missing her. Kat I love u 

lost.......

Just feeling lost tonight.....

Nothing feels real nothing feels right...... I miss her so much, shes like air I can't breath with out her....... I want to go back to a place in my life where everything seemed alright.... I miss her so damn bad, and I haven't had any contact with her..... its killing me like radiation poisoning. Id rather have cancer or take a deadly disease from a child then deal with the waiting pain of seeing my baby. It always seems who ever I touch or try to be with, I just ruin them... maybe that gypsye form the Saturn Station was right I'm as surely cursed for the rest of my life never to fall in love. I can only help other and never take the benefits........ Day's like this I wish it was me that was sucked out into space and not that family

Damn finally day off

Holy mastacholio made it to a day off. All week I've been thinking about my baby.. I love her so much. I hope she's ok, I know she's on that behavior BS, I'm gonna call tomorrow and just ask if there is anything I can do to help her... I miss her so bad it hurts. Hell today a customer came in and I thought it was her I lost control for a few seconds and this lady was like wtf wrong with u. I told mittens she's like pull your self together Captain!!

Just left the gym gonna get a juice "veggie" :) and probably check FB and crash and enjoy my day off tomorrow. I know I have to retro fit the Astroliner for this weekend. Got I miss u Kat. I miss u so much babe! I'm gonna write u a letter tomorrow, love you honey :)

Kinda sad :/

Really missing my baby. Still can't see her yet, I'm gonna write her a letter tonight. Mail it tomorrow, :( I thought I would be able to see her Saturday but no go. She's on behavior contract :( probably because she sent me that secret message. I feel bad she's in trouble because of me, I still feel its my fault she's in this predicament. If I would of helped her then we would of been together :/ doesn't matter I love her to death, and I will be her support! I'm gonna be like a summoning from final fantasy total bad ass

Food court

It's bad when u feel miserable when in a food court everyone is sitting with someone eating and I have the table to myself.... Kat I miss u wish u where here babe  

Another late night

Finally tired, just left the gym. Long day I have tomorrow off I hope I get to hear from my baby tomorrow and then see her on Saturday :3 yes I know I say I miss her to much but it's da truth!! I hope she liked everything I sent her. I hope she uses the diary I got for her. And the hello kitty stickers I put on it too lol. Can't wait to hear her voice and feel her touch again :) I love u Kat I'm counting the day babe :3

Lunch time

I miss Kat so bad I read her letters just to remind me of her voice :)

Work

Captain Sanchez of the Dirty Dozen Convoey needs help transporting goods, I'm sending the team out for this one on Saturday. They'll be in the Jackson system. I'll be heading to Neptune to see my Kitty Kat. :) I love her so much! I hope she loves me as much as I love her! 

Same damn ceiling

Kat I miss you, the crew misses u. Me and NONOT where sitting on the edge of the ion cannon today. He said he wishes you where back so we can be a family again. :) made me cry almost. Everyone sees how it's tearing me apart not having u here. I hope u get my care package.. I love u so much I feel like I'm bleeding from inside :( 

Sad

I miss my baby so bad :(  I'm at work and all I think about is her :( I love her so much. I miss her so much :/ I want to be with her so bad 

Little excited!

So... I'm putting together a little care package for my baby :) two magazines, a diary to help her through hard times, and twizzlers. I even put hello kitty stickers on it for her. Like I said before I'm not afraid to show her I love her at all.

Mid afternoon nap

Ugh I fell asleep on the couch and dreamed of Kat :) I woke up hugging a pillow :( I miss her so much... 

Tossy turny

Can sleep, just can't stop thinking about my baby :) this is the best photo of us. I love u Kat! 

This was taken the day we escaped that planet with the Astroliner. This was taken right in front of the crash. I wasn't afraid to show everyone we where in love. We crashed into each other on the deck, people, news media and more watched us. 

When ever I think of her I feel I can accomplish any thing. :) she's my Bonnie and I'm Clyde 

Beyond

Beyond tired, beyond excited, beyond the past ready for the future. All I can think of when I look in a mirror is a future with her. Kat I love you, the letter u wrote me the other day revived me. It was a long day and just your letter alone made me rise against all odds to keep going. I'm gonna send u a care package because u deserve it.

I'll draw & color a photo of us because I don't want to bring back any of your bad memories from your photos. Soon well make new memories, better memories, the best memories. We'll make everyone jealous because we'll be that couple that's so perfect it's retarded. We'll fight over the best reasons, and we'll stand fast against our own curses. When were together we can battle each others pain. And I'll take all your pain honey. I take what ever you need, I'm your shield, im your guard, im your platinum, I'm your hero. The last person you'll ever have to love :) I miss you so much, I miss you like a child that's misses his or her blanket.... I know u get out during the holidays which I think is awesome. One of the best times of the year, it will be cold and we'll be able to cuddle up to a fire, watch the snow fall. I love you so much Kat. 

Dreams

Had the best dream I think I've ever had with Kat. It was New Year's Eve, our family & friends came together, everyone one had a great time, me and her even salsa'd in front of everyone :) good food and people, and me, Kat, Mark,Casey, Jeffery and Mittens all had a photo taken together. It was the couple photo just like when we all went to Disney. I hope this dream come true. I love her so much that. She's always on my mind all the time and I know I'm the right one for her. I know she'll better me and I can help her on her own journey. Gods I miss my baby 

Lonely yet again

Mittens calls it the luv bug bit me, Colleen says I need to drink about it, Mark & Casey better than having a baby.... It's like I can't wait for the night so I can close my eyes to dream about Kat... She's all I can think about. I love her, but I really don't know how she feels about me... It's been so long I fear she forgot who I am. She once told me your not a good man, your a great one. I don't feel so great when I fail everyone around, especially when everyone is getting hurt because of me & my ship... I'm waiting to meet the leader of the Lab Rat Mafia... Her name I heard in a whisper it starts with an R that's I could make out when I was a POW...

Kat I miss u so so so much, I can't eat or sleep with out you.... I've never felt like this towards someone ever. It's like a curse, to love someone so much and you don't know how they feel about you or think.... My fear Is that she has forgotten me, and she will return to her past.. How can I move on or live with that situation. I know my crew will push me to move on and ill never be the same, what will I become ... A monster, a mean person, I don't want to be either one, I want to be happy and next to Kat the rest of my life. I want to grow old with her and let her hold the remote control..

All I know is that when we dream we aren't that far away from each other. 

Lunch time

Order Mediterranean food.... I miss Mac and Cheese nights with Kat :(

Oh I miss her so bad, I can't wait till she's out 

Long day..

All I could think about was Kat. And I had no one to talk to about her :( i miss her so much. Makes me want to cry :/ any day I should be getting a call, is just tearing me apart waiting for her.i really no how a military family feels. And I'm the one in the military :( Kat I love you honey where ever u are I'm sitting by the phone waiting for you sweet heart.

Weird start

Weird start to the day.... My mom scolds me from mars, oh you don't work hard enough?? Tried cleaning the apartment, no luck. I'm missing Kat like more than norm today.... Damn near got killed twice on the way to work.... I miss my baby :( feeling sad today but I'm trying to keep up high spirits for the team. :/ my heart feels heavy today :(

-.-

I miss my baby.. About to fall asleep and dream of her, Kat I love you

Rainy evening

Sitting here watching the rain fall missing my baby... We'll be together again soon.

I love you Kat, I miss u so much, I can't wait to hold you again baby. Hopefully soon :)

Coded message!!

I'm sitting working on my fighter, in side of the Astroliner... My phone starts to ring..... It's Kats voice, I say am I dreaming?? She like know its me babe. Before I could ask she's like, I only have a minute write this down. Jump coordinates 3. 56 14 511, it's where she's located, her rehab station. Those coordinates are out near Neptune. No one goes out that way because there's nothing there. Neptune is basically a giant water/gas planet. It's our back up of fresh H2o if we ever need it. But she said she love me and said to jump out and send her sole snail mail.... I've been in a daise since crazy but I love her and it was great to hear her voice. She sounded beaten and tired. It worries me a little but ill have the Astroliner prep for a rescue mission I'm sure Colleen will be armed and ready to drop the bomb. I miss her so much

Counting the days

:) counting the days when Kat will be able to call me. Can't wait to hear her voice, I've dreamed about us twice so. I hope my mind won't play tricks on me. I miss her so much, I want to take her for a walk on that pier. 

Kinda hopping they let me take her for a weekend so I can show her worlds end :)

I know it's a day dream but I want it to be reality. I love her very much I hope she's thinking about me. 

-.-

Oh it's late I'm hugging my pillow pretending its my baby. I miss you honey, I miss you so much, I can't wait for your call this week. I've dreamed about hearing your voice for so long. I love u Kat I'm here baby waiting patiently sweetie :)

VFW

Well just hanging out with some old vets, bs'n everyone's asking where's yur lady at captain?? 

Couch

Sitting on the couch.... Thinking of my baby... I can feel her. I miss her so much..

Business meet :)

Work work work work work.... Sigh I miss my baby, Kat honey I miss you sooo much it's retarded, it's like watching rust rust metal on my ship. I can't wait to hold u baby, and show you all the awesome places were gonna roll. 

Ill always keep my promise.

The futures looking good, the board is set the pieces are moving. Things will begin to fall into place soon.

The Undiscovered Country

My goal

Get outta debt by September: not a problem,

Go after Speed Liner

Narf

Oh I miss my baby. I look at her photo ever day every hour..... I miss Kat so bad, I can only think what she's going through right now.... Once she gets out where going in vacation, I think north first then some place warm and comfy.

My plans are in motion for a better future just need to survive, some of my friends have suffered from mental over load.... I fear that some of us may fall do to being over whelmed. I have my baby on my mind she keeps me sane. First thing I'm gonna do is hug her so hard and kiss her like a fantasy :} 

ZzzZzz

Tired.. Sadish..... I miss my baby.... Laying here waiting to fall asleep... Kat I miss u baby.... When u get out the universe is ours... The one thing that bothers me is I'm afraid to see u again. I know my mind plays tricks on me. But I know we love each other, but what if they like break your mind and u forget me... Well ill break them I guess.

I know it made me sad when I asked u about the time we sat at Huron park, u don't even remember it being with me when we sat on the huge rock watching the sun go down and the fire flies dancing around. 

When you get I will protect u from every evil that tries to hurt you and takes u away. I feel like Link or Mario. My princess keeps getting stolen... Not for long. If anyone dares hell's coming with me. I love you baby I'm counting the days until u call me, :) when u see me again ill be in better shape with the new work outs I've been doing with the team. I just want to get stronger to protect you 

Well I'm off to fall asleep in my lonely apartment earth in view and the moon sitting in the distance... I love you Kat, well be together soon :)

Hate nights alone

Laying in bed starring a photos of and Kat... My heart is heavy knowing I have to wait for that call.... I fear something but I don't know what it is? I feel like I'm marooned on that planet again. Now I'm waiting for rescue... I know it's coming but I'm here all alone :/ gods I miss my baby... I miss her so much, I miss her so bad it's like an addiction that won't leave me alone.. I miss my baby..

Home sweet home

Finally made it back from the Dewitt system. They won't be having problems for a long time :)

 

Came into my apartment kinda lonely.... Kat I miss u babe.... Two weeks sounds like a year for me :( what eves I'm still doing my detox for three weeks. Veggies, yogurt, chi and berrys, gone destroy the plumbing!!

Good ending to the night just miss my baby

Not done yet

Kicking ass and taking names in Dewitt. But realizing that in order to be happy when Kat gets out we need to leave the sol system. We need to leave it all behind. People are just dragging us down.

  The people that will suffer r our close friends. Sucks but it's the truth, can't survive here, not much bad nothing good. Well be able to always come back but just ain't worth it staying.

The longer me and her stay here the more we are going to suffer. Sounds weird but like I said I'm realizing that its the real truth.

         Mittens and Jeffery are going to kill me along with Colleen too. 

Sheep!!!!!

We are herding sheep..... Really sheep in the ship!!!!

Breakfast

Hard boils egg whites, tofu sausage and fake bread with a white sauce.... Gods I miss breakfast with Kat, I remember she surprised me with French toast on our 1 year anniversary, it was expensive but it was amazing, I did take her to mars for dinner on Olympus. Best cheese burgers ever, real meat real cheese. 

That hurt

We hit the deck for hard my ball choked me! Took out 13 hydra cannons.... It's like a shark chasing a dolphin!! Flipping crazy!! What eves were making repairs tomorrow last day in Dewitt System. Time to show them how it's done!!

Note to self can't wait to see my baby these pillows ain't cutting it!!!

Pizza!!!!

I go use the bathroom and Casey pulls us over to get pizza! Great plan!!!

I have to pee

The title says it all!! Yes I'm in middle of a dog fight and yes I have to peeeeeee!!! About to tell Casey or lynsye to throw me there water bottle !!

Communication loss

-.- haven't heard From my baby in three days I'm positive she's been moved off planet now.. While I'm floating out here in the Dewitt System. This morning another set of pirates tried braking our line of defense... Why do they what this sector so bad??? 

Whateves will drop them in there spots... I miss u LKat like a baby misses its blanket :(

Back at the station

Well they gave me a double but I asked for a single, I'm gonna push em close together lol

Fish stixs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They have a hydra cannon.... WTF!!!! 

Fish stixs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They have a hydra cannon.... WTF!!!! 

Sitting on the run way

Swaggy, putting up crew photos up

Man I'm tired..... 

Got my baby on the wall too :)

I lover her so much, I just wish we could be together but she needs to keep working on what she's been doing. Ill Always lover her till whatever end happens.

I know I hold a place in her heart, I know I  may come second to something else she may need. But what ever her decision I will honor it.<3

Landed

Well not the best landing but we landed ln Dewitt. Stopped at the local restaurant for breakfast. Strange skies to the west of the station. Not to mention solar storms are picking up out here :/

Urgent message

Soo I get an emergency call from my uncle.... Calypso Station has gone dark? That's in The Dewitt System.... Thursdays gonna get surreal. Time to nut up or shut up

Dreams... :)

Took a power nap and me and my baby went on a trip overseas and watched the surf rolled in.  Great dream for what I can remember and I swear I can almost smell her :}

New directions

Phew long day of cleaning and repairs. The astroliner is all set for this coming weekend in Dewitt. Tomorrow I'm going to install some extra lamps and start to load her up. Then back to my apparent and clean it up. I got tones of laundry :/ 

But on a lighter note, the new 3D printer were getting is going to be a game changer like no other.

I'm going to build a sheild generator with magnets. Things are going to get interesting :)

Didn't hear from my baby today. I'm not sad, maybe a little at least I know she's safe on Mars station. Ill hear from her in two weeks  counting the days :)

Good day :) it's Friday

Started off great my baby called me this morning to say hey and I love you :} she's being moved off planet so I will hear from her in two weeks... Long two weeks :/. But I'll be expecting a call from my baby :)

On a lighter note Cristy my ex has been blowing up my compad. Apparently I'm the biggest asshole on the planet... Well I'm not on earth I live on the station. Soo... Middle finger to ya XD

Holy Toledo Ohio!!!

Tired, sore and were under attack!' This race war down here is nuts!!!! Trying to hold em back. Got some good people holding the line 

Leaving hard dock

Out we go!!

Late night

Mission Viper is in 7 hrs. My minds racing worrying about Kat, I fell asleep on the couch for 45 mins only to wake up screaming in the bath tub.... She must be in a great state of fear, or breaking down. What ever darkness is attached to her came back after me in my night terrors.

I'm back to no sleep and I think I just pulled lower back again.. This ain't going to be fun tomorrow. Gods I hope she's ok. I'm tired of losing the people I care about :( someone's laughing at me somewhere I just know it. Look at the loser lets make his life worse. Lets make him suffer.

Yet I still strive to help others and care for the ones closet to me.  I need to see my baby again..... If she's kept from me I will have my revenge 

Home ....

Just walked into my apartment and on the video screen there's a letter flashing telling me about a new message??? I walked up to it and touched the screen. 

You I are gift has been canceled you are not allowed to contact this person. Monies will be refunded.....

So someone's stopping from talking to my baby

Evil look on face

Job kiosk

Wow this hasn't happened in awhile emergency call for Jupiter 7. Massive infection highland system.... -.- I only have to work tomorrow at 3.... Well jobs are jobs and I know Casey and Colleen will be happy to make some money! Wheels up at 0700, waiting for code name on the mission. I hope I can get some sleep tonight 

Zzzzzzzz

Miss my baby, she called me tonight made her feel relaxed :) I will protect her when we are together gods help me and give me strength.

Miss this :(

I miss ice cream Sundays with my baby :(

I always let her have the cherry :(

Mission Coloma

Working hard holding the line, but with no sleep again :( plus I had an episode last night again. Kinda freaked the team out. Everyone's watching over me which makes me feel good, but at the same

Time I have a major mental issue and I need to solve it soon or I maybe hit rock bottom and I won't be able to recover :/

Into the wind

Ugh feelin sick with the solar sheers. Casey and mark are snuggled up missy and lynsye r the same. Nonots recharging. I'm sitting here in my captains chair, got the seat back and extended. Foot rest up and all alone looking up at a brown dwarf.... I always have the best seat in the house and no one to share it with :( Kat I miss you :(... I know I'll never see you again I miss your kindness and cheerfulness. They always ask me why don't you fear death? Because I'm so lonely nothing hurts :/ I hate my life some times. Well at least the lab rats arnt doing anything stupid.. Nice and quiet listing to Alex goot!

Caloma mission

22hrs & counting down... Sigh reports r calling for heavy resistance.... On a lighter note I got a interesting phone call from Kat. It was kinda like whoa, lot of I love you, hey can u send me this. I wish I didn't do that I wanted to be with you instead I love you then the phone cut off. Soo... Yea... At least she's thinking about me... Wish I could help her :| I know staying away is the right thing to do but. What if I'm the key to make things better? 

Cheese and crackers

That about sums it up. Tired, depressed, alone, sad, empty, blah. I feel lost.... 

Lab Rat Mafia

Dunno where this bitch came from all I know is she's trouble and maybe be the leader of the Lab Rats. 

-.-

Just juiced the last of my veggies.... I guess I'll head to Galaxy Groceries... Gonna be weird haven't shopped there alone in along time :/ 

Home safe

Been a wild evening, made decision that where best for the girl I cared about. I hope to see her in a few years from now free of drugs and people that want to hurt her. On the way home I saw two shooting stars and made a wish for her and the second I made one for me.

On a lighter note, me, mittens and Jeffery found out Jacky can make you bowl better lol! Then during bowling Colleen shoots me a message "Party"!!! So after bowling the little lovers went home I headed to sector 5 on the station and had an amazing time! You would be surprised how many friends you really have in the end who will help you through any situation. No matter what the cost is. Just a great night over all.

To break character now this goes out to the Carr family, if you ever need help J7 will always be there and one day I hope we can have a picnic with your daughter drug free. And I want to bring my amazing friends just to show that the world isn't as bad as it seems some times. I will also bring some amazing potato  salad too! Chelsea I love you, I pray for your health and safe return one day. You'll always be in my heart, you have my "chi" from when you bit my arm when we where holding each other the other day. It will protect you as it have me. But once again, Chelsea I Love you I know your family is going to take great care of you. :) 

Captain Chang, signing off for tonight and going to bed. 

I can finally sleep with a clear conscious

:) 

Relieved

It's been a roller coaster... Big time lately and I'm happy to say that I'm relieved. Someone I care about is getting the best help ever. Met her amazing brother, who I think will never stop at any thing like me. My tale in this story is over and the next adventure awaits. She'll always be in my heart. Second star to the right & straight on till morning :)

Hanger bay

Well the ships primed and ready for the Coloma mission.... Still feeling sad, Mittens and Jeffery are taking me out tonight :) still sad. Some times I wonder what it's like to be happy. Hurts to care, worse that i can't see her, wondering if they will ever let me see her again :/ really hate my life sometimes... (*'.')

Still lost

I feel helpless, can't even help the one I care for... I want vengeance, if I find out who hurt her and helped her to get to this point they better be ready hells coming with me... No one deserves to go through what her family is going through, I hope they give me the chance to help. Jupiter 7 is behind me and willing to help.

I hope mittens is right this is where her mind changes for the better. Plus I'm glad I put that hex on her the other day. She kisses my arm and bites down on my and I did the same to her shoulder and that bite transferred my Chi to her Chi and I'm sure it's what protected her from dying. I'm sure everyone's like ha your a dumb ass, nuts, weirdo. But I know I've seen shit that will turn u white! 

I believe in magic and hope and it's never let me down.. I hope to see her soon and avenge her 

Ha

OAnd just like that I'm a train wreck again... Maybe everyone's right I just need to stop caring. My life's a shitty roller coaster, I really just want to de rail. Nothing has ever been good in my life. I've had to busy my ass to get what I have and I'm just not happy end of story. I work for what? I save people for what.... No one gives two shits about, my ship or any good I've ever done. If I turn into a monster I will not apologize. Hell maybe ill turn and join the lab rat mafia and yes that's an act of terror. I'm always on my own, and when someone gets pushed to the limit..... They all float down here

Wired!!

Omg I'm pooped, worked an 18hr day and gotta be back up in 6 hrs to do another 10 hr day. Couldn't talk to my baby hope she's ok. I'm about to face plant my bed. Kat I miss u sweetie, soon as this is all over where leaving the Sol system for something better :)

It's all worth it

things have been like a roller coaster lately. After today things look like they may level out, I'll miss them drops but its all worth it. My boss allowed me time to spend with my baby. Kats making great improvements but she so scared of the future. I told her once she gets thru this, we are gonna go atmosphere jumping. I feel it's my fault she's at where she is, if I would of payed more attention instead of being scared off and forcing my way in she wouldn't have done what she did. But non the less I love her i hope they don't move her. I want her to stay at that hospital so I can hold her and protect her :)

I'm never going to stop holding her. Poor things lost every thing, every one, even her home and I'm going to help her get it back, the best I can :}

Sunday

Finally found my com pad... Stupid couch monster... Finally got to see Kat this week.. Feels weird but she's ok for now. I feel stupid when I go to see her because I just stair at her like a retard. Also the infestation has gotten worse bug ass spiders I rolling around the stations. Anyways longest week ever. Think ill call my baby back. I'm not afraid to show her I love her

Purgatory

Survived Monday been a wreck all weekend and Monday...  It's early Tuesday morn haven't slept since Wednesday maybe an hr here or there... They still won't let me see her. Worst thing is the station has seen an infestation rise of bugs... Wonder if the lab rats r at it again.... Kat i miss u babe y did u do this to your self....

Lost again

Sad sad night.... Won first place in bowling tonight then got a call.... I'm sobbing here sorry, Kat just tried to commit suicide.... Blood everywhere, just omg..... I don't know what to do.... I feel so bad I couldn't even been there for her I'm a galaxy away and my baby was going thru some bad times and just...

Late night entry 7-8-2158

How are u supposed to live without the one when u can't even find them?

Home

I look to right no ones there, I look to the left no ones there... I look up and it's the same.... I'm so tired of being lonely and alone. I give anything to have an argument over spilled milk.

Mission accomplished

Mission accomplished, money was made, everyone made it out. No one died I guess I'd call it a win. Now I get to go Home to an empty house :( no one to celebrate with :( something's gotta give

Clawson

Crazy day, tons of people and a long mission.5 hrs to go and this ones over phew. Just wish I had someone to come home to :(

Blah

Yea that about sums it up..... Mittens really gut punched me mentally. "Stop chasing the past she could give two shits about you, and she'll probably destroy the Astroliner with you in it."
I hate we're I'm at in my life. Great job, good money, I have two places to stay, never bored. Just lonely and it would be nice to have a girl friend to spend the summer with. But every time I meet someone, I get used or they get chased away by the crew.... I'm just going to cry myself to sleep again, and hope for the worst. Not to mention I got a mission in less that 34 hrs... Sigh... I just want to be happy. It's not fare

Thank god for robots

Nonot I want say thank you for the conversation. Captain to Robot. I won't let it get me down. To help me along I'm going to lose even more weight, and get in better shape. I've lost over 87lbs and I'm going to keep going. Nonot, I'm glad to have you as my crew member and I say crew because to me your the most human I've seen in the galaxy

No title can fill this space

I've save earth 2 times, Mars lost count, shipping convoys millions of time, saved thousands of lives...... And I still can't meet the right girl with out being used, tortured or ripped apart. Am I just ment to be a robot, with no feelings. I don't mean anything to any it seems anymore. Yea you save them from being destroyed or yay he fixed the aquifer system the town has water again.... Why should I care any more.... Just for once I thought things were actually going to change... I thought the wind was blowing into a better direct for me and my ship.... I'm truly cursed.... I'm only ment to solve problems, stop people from hurting other, and bring people together... But I'm not ment to be happy.... Ever, I'm ment to be alone, used, and beaten. I don't want these memories I feel like I've been cheated in life. Next torpedo that comes broad side I may just take it.

Victory! Croswell

We've accomplished our mission. Wasn't easy. Met some amazing people, actually some great people of Croswell. I hope one day to be as great as them. We saved everyone, no major injuries and no one died. Tomorrow we head to meet with the Delphinus orbiting Clawson. After that home to the station with dinner with my baby. I got a surprise for her! Flowers, and dinner at bahama breeze on the station then I hope some dancing too :) I can't wait to see her. I can't stop thinking about her :)